Ocean Dreamer

Okay, so perhaps I had created a bubble of hallucination, as Sarah commented yesterday.  After my semi-confusing pregnancy test yesterday morning, I bought a set of 2 electric ones, so there would be less confusion.  I took one yesterday afternoon and it was negative – but, I thought, okay, maybe the HCG* hasn’t had time to build up yet.  Then I took another one this morning and it, too, was negative.  So, I don’t know….

I do know of one woman who didn’t get a positive HPT** until 6 days after her period was due.  However, I also know that for the past week or so I had been feeling bloated (not a normal PMS symptom for me) and had pressure in my abdomen.  Now that feeling is gone.  So maybe this was a very early miscarriage and there was still a tiny amount of HCG in my body?

In any case, as I was driving to an appointment this morning, I made peace with it.  It’s not something I can control and I won’t be doing myself any favors during the next couple of days if I’m just stressing about it (provided my period still hasn’t come).  The rollercoaster between yes and no has been really intense and crazy-making.  So, as best I can, I am going to just enjoy my vacation and when my answer comes (in the form of a period or lack thereof), I will know.  Until that time, I can’t get so wrapped up in it or I won’t be able to enjoy seeing my good friends and my family.

*HCG: Human Chorionic Gonadotropin (what pregnancy tests test for)

**HPT: Home Pregnancy Test

One of these days I am going to make an acronym page that folks can just refer to.

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