Ocean Dreamer

So here’s an update on my adventures with biphobia on my lesbian moms listserve.  You can read about what happened here.  After my post on the listserve, I received many responses.  Some were from women who agreed with me (although one went back on her agreement under pressure from the group).  Most, however, were along the lines of the following:

• This isn’t discrimination.  Theme parks limit the height of their riders and this is no different.
• This isn’t a group for women who are just coming out (because all bisexuals say they’re bisexual because they’re just coming out; once they’re out, they’ll be lesbians.)
• Only Lesbian women deal with my issues (but bi or trans women who are in relationships with women don’t).
• This also isn’t a group for trans folks or people who are poly (even if they’re only with other women.)
• They can form their own group.

I’m really sad that the group was so narrow-minded.  I’m not too surprised, since I had a feeling they were pretty narrow based on some of their postings.  Still, it makes me so sad when groups who are oppressed turn around and oppress others, especially when they do it intentionally.  Whenever we oppress another group, we only distance ourselves, when we could be working together for a more socially just world.  When we oppress each other, we’re only helping those in positions of power to maintain their power.  Is that really what we want?  I don’t.

Someone once told me (kindly) that my theme song should be “I’d Like to Teach the World to Sing.”  Cheesy it may be, but there is some truth to it nonetheless.  I do believe that we can have a socially just society, we just have to keep working *together* to get there.

Back to the biphobia on the list.  So, after several days, the listowner sent out her announcement that the group would continue to be closed to bisexual women.  As I said I would, I then emailed the group to say I was unsubscribing and why.  Before I actually sunsubscribed, I did get several negative responses.  However, I also received a very sweet personal email from one of the group moderators, saying that she had been out of town and missed much of the discussion, but that she, too, was unsubscribing as a result of the decision.  So we have made a statement and perhaps the other group members will think more about the situation as a result.  Perhaps even more will leave in protest.

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