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first impressions

So Tuesday was my first day of official school in the teaching program.  Up until this point I have been doing independent studies, so this was my first opportunity to meet my cohort and most of the professors.  And, get this, y’all.  The cohort has 52 students.  And. I. am. the. only. queer.  In Seattle.  At least as far as I can tell – I haven’t talked to everyone yet.  I also may have the most radical politics of anyone in the group, and my politics are not even *that* radical.  There was one guy who seemed queer to me, but he turned out to be straight.  Too bad, too, since he would have made such a cute gay boy!  Maybe if I hadn’t just had that alienating experience with the church, I would not have felt so uncomfortable.  But as it is now, I do find it rather alienating.  Especially when some of the folks in the group seem to have never met a queer person before in their entire lives.  And the professor can not say the acronym LGBTQ correctly, instead referring to us as “G, B, G, L … what is it again?”

In my MSW program, we had such a great cohort.  I have always loved and appreciated them, but now moreso than ever.  A couple of the people even created buttons that said “I *heart* my cohort,” which most of the folks wore or put on their bags.  There was a strong community feel and – big surprise given the profession – *lots* of queers.

My friend Erin suggested focusing on other things that I have in common with people, which I’ve been making an effort to do.  I’ve also been listening to a lot of good ol’ lesbo music on my trips home.  That has helped, too.  As has keeping focused on why I’m doing this.  As my friend Danielle said, “All the more important, then, that you have chosen to be a teacher. KIDS NEED YOU!!!”  I love my friends, they are such great sources of support. :)

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2 Responses to “first impressions”

  1. Comment from Stephanie:

    How do you know they’re all straight? Not everyone talks about it upon first meeting someone – unless I have occasion to say “my wife blah blah” when I’m talking to someone, they probably wouldn’t know, since I don’t dress/cut my hair typically queer.

    And even if they are all straight, it doesn’t mean that you can’t have a great cohort with them. The grad students in my department have a fantastic community, and I feel very comfortable and at home with them despite being the only “practicing” queer (there are a couple 1-on-the-Kinsey-scale type bisexual girls). It helps that everyone is totally accepting, so hopefully that is the case with your group as well. I think personality and common interests have a lot more to do with creating community than sexual orientation. I once met up with a group of queer astronomers at a conference, and though they should technically be “my people” I was profoundly irritated by many of them and we didn’t form a good group at all. So give these folks a chance, you might be surprised.

    And, a confession – sometimes *I* lose track of the letters in the acronym, especially when it starts getting so inclusive that the letter Q appears multiple times (the Q center at UW does this). Bad queer, no toaster for me.

  2. Comment from erin:

    Hi Stephanie,

    Thanks for your comment. I don’t, of course, know for sure that none of them are queer. What I do know, though, is that many of their comments so far have been ignorant of queer issues, culture and identities – which to me says they’re not queer. Certainly there have been some straight folks who have been queer-friendly, such as two women I talked with this afternoon.

    It sounds like your work environment is very queer-friendly, which is great. I have many queer-friendly straight friends who I adore and feel just as comfortable with as I do with my queer friends. However, so far, I’m not sure this is a queer-friendly environment. :( Today the guest speaker – who is a straight man who does safe space trainings and talked about diversity, multiculturalism, and social justice – said he felt that the issue of whether sexuality can be changed is debatable. This shocked me. Now, I should say, he said many other things that I thought were excellent. But in a presentation on diversity and social justice to stand in front of a class and say you think sexual orientation is a choice?!? WTF? I can’t even remember the last time I had a conversation with someone about that – it is so accepted in the circles I live in that it’s *not* a choice.

    You aren’t the only queer I know who loses track of all the letters. :) However, I think it is different when a professor forgets the letters *while talking to a group of students who are going to be working with queer youth and kids from queer families and who don’t seem particularly queer-friendly (with exceptions, of course).* She is modeling behavior, and I don’t agree with what she modeled.

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