Ocean Dreamer

Thanks so much for all your input on the IVF decisions.  Here’s what I’ve decided so far (subject to change, of course):

1 v. 2: I’m leaning towards transferring 2 and have been leaning this way for several days.  The tipping point was talking with a (queer) couple who had done IVF and transferred 2 and ended up pregnant with 1.  They pointed out that after everything they’d been through (TTC for 3 years, multiple problems trying adoption, etc.), they would have been devastated if they got a BFN on the IVF.  I know I would feel the same way.  (Side note: this was at a Maybe Baby potluck, where I was the *only* one who wasn’t pregnant/the partner of a pregnant person.  *Not* a fun experience for someone dealing with infertility/IVF – though it got sooo much better when I realized that couple had done IVF.  I had a long, lovely conversation with them, interrupted at points by comments from others like (groan) “I feel so lucky!” and “I was worried when I didn’t get pregnant the first couple of times!”)  Plus, I do like twins.  I used to have a not-so-secret desire to have twins.  So if I end up with twins, that will be wonderful, too.

clinic v. hospital egg retrieval: I’m going to go with the clinic.  My mom talked with my uncle, who’s a pediatrician, and he saw no problem with doing it in the clinic.  Plus, this way the eggs won’t have to travel far in their little human-body-temperature microscope to reach the lab.  Also, my mom, who lives across the country, has agreed to come out here for my egg retrieval.  My mom and I don’t have the best relationship, but somehow having her here takes away much of my fear about the procedure.  Didn’t think that mommy-can-fix-everything-and-make-me-feel-better magic would last into my 30s, but here it is.

shared-risk plans: I’m still deciding on this.  An Offering of Love made an excellent point that the cost of one IVF plus one FET is still less than the cost of either of the shared-risk plans.  I hadn’t realized this…. so right now I’m leaning towards just paying for the single IVF, and skipping the shared-risk plans.  But that may change.

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