• A *ton* of teaching jobs were recently posted for next year and I have been applying like crazy.  It is a long process and I have to apply for all of them within a week, so that is where most of my time has gone.
• I have now done four lupron injections.  And, as an update on an earlier post, it is going quite fine.  Fear of needles (at least the teeny, tiny lupron ones) is gone.  Actually, I kind of oddly look forward to the injections each morning – both for the structure they provide (did I mention I love structure?) as well as the sense that I am doing something proactive that will help get me closer to a baby.
• My pup Cassie has a ton of allergies and will need to start allergy shots.  I am a bit sad for her, but mostly relieved that her allergies will require shots – they have been really bad and if the test results said they weren’t bad enough to require shots, I wasn’t sure where we would go next.  My other pup, Zoe, gets allergy shots and after about a year is doing fantastic with them.  She is almost off her allergy meds.
• Only four more BCPs left.  I will not miss them.
• My suppression check is scheduled for next Thursday, the 27th.
• I got offered a job teaching summer school (kindergarten) this year!  Sooo excited.
• Plus, I will be an Area Leader at my favorite queer camp for one of its lovely weeks this summer.  Again, sooo excited.
• Lupron keeps your pituitary from producing hormones and its been nice and relaxing not to have *any* mood swings (though also odd not to have any strong emotions at all.)
• My stepbrother announced his engagement to his (conservative Christian but very sweet) fiance and their wedding *this August.*  This caused a lot of family drama (because of the quick turn-around, need for people to adjust schedules when doing so wasn’t always possible, etc.)  It seems to all be worked out now.
• For my last three BFNs from IUIs (Jan, Feb, and March), I bought myself something as a bit of a consolation prize.  The last one, kin.der eggs (which I fell in love with when living in Germany) finally arrived, imported from Canada, after a much too long wait (due to poor customer service, etc., that eventually caused me to cancel my order and place a new one with a different company.)  But they. are. here.  Only they don’t taste as good as the German ones, so my little sis, who is in Deutschland right this minute, is sending me some good German ones.

Thanks so much for all your kind comments about my post on “deserving” a baby.  They are much appreciated and it is so wonderful to have people out there who understand.  I’m in a bit of a better place right now (helped, no doubt, by the lupron-induced lack of strong emotions.)

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So, yes, the other night I dreamt that I killed my grandma – not intentionally of course – but still it was awful.  I woke up miserable and curled up with my ever-so-loving-and-sweet pups.  I’ve also dreamt, for example, that the house caught on fire – though this was less a nightmare than a stress dream because my big reaction to it was, “oh, God, now I have to get that fixed.”

There have been some pleasant ones, too, of course – and in general I’ve really enjoyed remembering my dreams in a way I hadn’t been able to do since I was a child.

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they arrived on Friday!

Everything but the follistim (which must be refrigerated) takes up a full shelf in my medicine cabinet.  I start the lupron on Sunday.  Also, my insurance covered some of the meds!  That was a *huge* relief.

And happy 100th post to me!  Since I just wrote a huge reflection on blog birthday, I’ll refrain from doing that here.

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Oh, birth control pills, never in my life did I think I would take you … yet I’ve now been on you for a week.  Even before I came out as a lesbian, I was not exactly promiscuous – I had one boyfriend, in eighth grade, and that was it.  So I never dreamed, even then, that I would take birth control pills.  Yet here I am.  Life is funny sometimes.

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