Ocean Dreamer » single lesbian mom

My Miserable, Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy (pt 1)

erin — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 23:10:45 +0000

Last night my Maybe Baby group went to see Andrea Askowitz give a reading from her book My Miserable, Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy. The reading was at Bailey/Coy, Seattle’s friendly lesbian-owned bookstore. Askowitz was a single lesbian mom by choice when she got pregnant and had her baby, so I was especially looking forward to her reading. She read several different selections from her book and was absolutely hilarious – this is no wonderfully rosy portrayal of pregnancy, as you might guess given the title. Instead, she provides a realistic and honest – not to mention funny – portrayal of her experience. In one section, she describes going to the fertility clinic, where she was required to watch a video about hetero couples struggling with infertility. One of the couples simply wasn’t having sex often enough. After watching the show, she told the nurse she knew the source of her infertility. The nurse asked what it was and she responded, “I’m a lesbian.”

I started the book last night and so far it’s really hilarious. Watch for another post with a full review once I’ve finished it.

Incidentally, she is now partnered and her partner is currently pregnant. Congrats to them both.

red carpet (thoughts on my initial ivf appt) So I just got back from my IVF intake appointment....

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community

erin — Tue, 17 Jun 2008 00:03:53 +0000

I have begun to find other LGBTQ single parents (and prospective parents) by choice – first virtually and now in person – and that sense of community has been wonderful. I started out feeling that there were very, very few of us in this subgroup of a subgroup of a subgroup – and put a lot of energy into finding others with similar experiences. Now it seems that work is beginning to pay off. First, there have been the wonderful folks in the blogosphere, including A at Queer Baby Making and R at Now Just One Mommy…. Then, Thursday night at our monthly Maybe Baby meeting, we had a wonderful speaker on foster-adoption that drew a whole slew of single LGBTQ parents-to-be (and one who’s already a parent). I’m used to being the only non-coupled person in the room at those meetings, so meeting the others was especially wonderful. And then, Saturday morning I took a lovely walk around Green Lake with another woman who is planning to be a single lesbian parent. We talked about everything from building community to dating to dogs. There is nothing like (the often rare incidence of) having aspects of your experience reflected back at you in others’ lives.

So, to all the wonderful folks I’ve met so far, I’m glad to share part of this path with you and I look forward to seeing our community grow.

blog birthday! some reflections on 2 years of blogging & TTCing… I started this blog two years ago today. I started...

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add one more to the short list

erin — Thu, 22 May 2008 19:07:06 +0000

This blog for single queer parents by choice, written by Angela, is chronicling her journey to parenthood (she’s due in a few months – congratulations!) Its also a great resource for anyone considering the path of single LGBTQ parenthood, as she does an excellent job of expressing many of the experiences and emotions of being a single parent. I’ve really enjoyed reading her blog so far – its brought me a real sense of community.

blog birthday! some reflections on 2 years of blogging & TTCing… I started this blog two years ago today. I started...

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single moms are straight, lesbian moms are coupled

erin — Tue, 20 May 2008 16:56:08 +0000

Or so it seems. I am actively involved with Seattle’s group for queer folks who want to have kids, yet I’m the only one who’s single. Aside from this blog, I’ve only found three other blogs about single lesbian mama: “Adventures of a Single Lesbian Mom,” “Soul Bliss,” and “One Mommy … TTC.” Similarly, I’ve been reading several books for single moms by choice, but they are all geared towards straight women. (There is one book, Knock Yourself Up, which is written by a single lesbian mom – I haven’t read it yet but I have high hopes.) So far, the books, articles, and websites I’ve read focus on women giving up the Great American Dream of meeting a wonderful man, getting married, and raising a family together with said man. Um, excuse me? We don’t *all* have that dream. And its quite alienating to those of us who don’t to find a group that we think would represent us, only to find that in many ways it doesn’t – especially when there is no mention that some of us aren’t straight.

And so I kept searching … and ended up deciding to start something myself. To that end, I’ve created two websites: Single Lesbian Moms by Choice and Single Lesbian Moms (by choice or chance). They’re just starting out right now, but come back, come back, I have big plans for them both – including blogs, listserves, resource pages, maybe even in-person meetups if there are enough people in given areas.

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Ocean Dreamer » single lesbian mom

My Miserable, Lonely Lesbian Pregnancy (pt 1)

community

add one more to the *short* list

single moms are straight, lesbian moms are coupled

add one more to the short list